For most people, the thought of dying or caring for a terminally ill friend or family member raises fears and questions as old as humanity: What is a "good death"? What appropriate preparations should be made? How do we best support our loved ones as life draws to its close? In this nondenominational handbook, Richard F. Groves and Henriette Anne Klauser provide comfort, direction, and hope to the dying and their caregivers through nine archetypal stories that illustrate the most common end-of-life concerns. Drawing from personal experiences, the authors offer invaluable guidance on easing emotional pain and navigating this difficult final passage.
With a compelling new preface, this edition also features an overview of the hospice movement; a survey of Celtic, Tibetan, Egyptian, and other historic perspectives on the sacred art of dying; as well as various therapies, techniques, and rituals to alleviate suffering, stimulate reflection, and strengthen interpersonal bonds. The American Book of Living and Dying gives us courage to trust our deepest instincts, and reminds us that by telling the stories of those who have passed, we remember, honor, and continue to learn from them.

CONTENTS
Preface to the Paperback Edition - viii
Introduction - 1

Part I. The History

Hospice
The Original Hospice: The Art of Dying Well - 13
A Vision from the Past: God’s Hotel - 14
Our Cultural Bias: Death Is the Enemy - 17
Hospice in America: Gift and Challenge - 19

Ancient Books of the Dead
The Heritage - 21
• Egyptian Book of the Dead: A Greater Light
• Celtic Books of the Dead: Spiritual Midwifery
• Gnostic Books for the Living and Dying: Bridge between East and West
• Tibetan Book of the Dead: Coaching the Soul
• Monastic Books of the Dying: Prescriptive Care
What the Books of the Dead Have in Common: Lessons for Us Today - 34
Spiritual Pain

Pain versus Suffering: The Human Condition - 37
Diagnosing Spiritual Pain: Asking Courageous Questions - 39
Responding to Spiritual Pain: A Psychospiritual Relationship - 42
• Meaning Pain: The Painful-Blissful Encounter with the Truth
• Forgiveness Pain: The Common Cold of Spiritual Pain
• Relatedness Pain: Leaving the Familiar Behind
• Hopelessness Pain: Death as Healer
Becoming an Anamcara - 55
• Ten Commandments for the Anamcara
Part II. The Stories

Annie: the Perfectionist
Will you love me even if I get it wrong? - 63
Henry: the Helper
Will you love me even if I can’t love you back? - 81
Sara: the Achiever
Will you love me even if I am not successful? - 95
Heather: the Dreamer
Will you love me even if you know who I am? - 111
Park: the Thinker
Will you love me even if I lose everything in life? - 125
Maria Elena: the Loyalist
Will you love me even if I break the rules? - 143
Andrew: the Adventurer
Will you love me even if I cry? - 159
Dorothy: the Asserter
Will you love me even if I am weak? - 175
Larry: the Peacemaker
Will you love me even if I disagree with you? - 189
Story Archetypes - 202
Part III. The Tool Chest

Art Therapy - 205
Breath Work - 209
Coma Therapy - 213
Dream Work - 218
Energy Therapies - 223
Forgiveness Exercises - 227
Guided Visualization - 231
Healing and Assistance from Ancestors - 236
Healing Religious Abuse and Images of God - 240
Intercessory (Nonlocal) Prayer - 244
Journaling - 248
Life Review Exercises - 252
Meditation Practices - 257
Music Therapy - 262
Religious Rites and Sacred Writings - 267
Rituals for the Bedside - 270
Rituals of Release - 273
Vigil Rituals and Rituals for Remembering - 277
Bibliography - 285
About the Authors - 294

Richard F. Groves and Henriette Anne Klauser