`This is a highly original and in many ways brilliant text. It is a model of how historical/process sociological research ought to be conducted and written-up. The author's subtle blending of theory and data is outstanding' - Eric Dunning, Professor of Sociology, University of Leicester

`Wouters has written a book both broad in scope and deep in analytic reach. Exploring changes in courtship norms over the last century in English, Dutch , German and American books of manners, he discovers changes which confirm the theory of informalization. Relations between the sexes are, he shows us, less regulated from outside and more from inside. This change calls - paradoxically - for both an emancipation of emotion and an ever sharper cultural eye on ways of managing emotion. The book carries Elias's classic, The Civilizing Process one giant step further. An important contribution and a fascinating read' - Arlie Russell Hochschild, University of California

This dazzling book examines changes in American, Dutch, English and German manners, regarding the changing relationships between men and women. From the disappearance of rules for chaperonage and the rise of new codes for courting, dates, public dances and the work place, it shows how women have become their own chaperone by gaining the rights to pay for themselves, to have a job and be a sexual subject.

This original and thought-provoking book:

· provides empirical evidence showing how younger generations removed their courting from under parental wings and how the balance of power between the sexes shifted in women's favour;

· monitors changes in codes regarding sexuality by focusing on the balance between the desire for sexual gratification and the longing for enduring intimacy;

· documents the balance of controls over sexual impulses and emotions shifting from external social controls to internal ones;

· compares nationally different trends, particularly between the USA and Europe, focusing on the American dating system and its resulting double standards;

· argues that the initial greater freedom of American women has turned into a deficit.

Cas Wouters teaches Sociology at Utrecht University

Cas Wouters is a senior lecturer at the Institute of General Social Sciences at Utrecht University.

Introduction
Perspective and Contents
An Overview
On Regimes of Manners and Emotions
Manners and the Modelling Function of Good Societies
Confined to the Drawing Room
Dancing Fury
To Pay or Be Paid For?
Going to Work
Manners at Work
Developments in Courting Regimes
Introduction
Chaperonage and the Courting Regime in England
Chaperonage and the Courting Regime in Germany
Chaperonage and the Courting Regime in the Netherlands
Chaperonage in the USA
Chaperonage Compared
Some National Differences and General Trends
The American Dating Regime
Courting Regimes Compared
Some National Differences and General Trends
The Lust Balance of Sex and Love Since the Sexual Revolution
Fuck Romance!
The Sexual Revolution
From ¿Sexual Liberation¿ to `Sexual Oppression¿
The Anti-Pornography Movement
What is the Price of Sex?
Revival of Lust
The Lust and Love Revival
International Comparisons, Theoretical Interpretations, and Regularities in Processes of Emancipation and Integration
From a Comparative Perspective
Developments in Europe and in the USA
Balancing
The Lust Balance and the Balance of Power, the Balance of Controls, and the We-I Balance
Regularities in Processes of Emancipation and Integration
Lust Anxiety
Social and Sexual Fear of ¿Heights¿ and ¿Depths¿
Three Types
Trend-followers, Radicals and Moderates
Phases in Processes of Emancipation, Accommodation and Integration
Intensified Tugs-of-War and Ambivalence