Give me a hand . . . hold your tongue . . . scream your lungs out . . . what's a kid to do if he wants to keep all his body parts in place? Well, one thing is for sure, he'll have to be creative. Like, if you want to keep your heart from breaking, just make sure it's well padded and protected by tying a pillow around your chest. Want to keep your hands attached? Simple-stick them on with gloves and lots of glue. Just be careful not to laugh your head off!

Tedd Arnold  is the author of such children's classics as  No Jumping on the Bed! and No More Water in the Tub! He has published more than 50 books as author and illustrator. He has received  The Theodor Seuss Geisel Honor for I Spy Fly Guy and has won The Edgar Award for his Young Adult Novel, Rat Life.